


fake astronomical units

by rhyol1te



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, kind of, poisson d'avril, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhyol1te/pseuds/rhyol1te
Summary: Wherein Joly plays a video game, dies (but only in the game), and there are fantasy AUs.
Kudos: 6
Collections: Les Misérables Poisson d'Avril





	fake astronomical units

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostplantss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostplantss/gifts).



> The prompts was _fantasy AU with fae, please!_
> 
> For ghostplantss for the Les Mis Poisson d'Avril exchange, wherein the goal is to meet the prompt both exactly and not at all. I hope you enjoy!

The tiny spaceship spins and tumbles as Joly attempts to figure out the controls, diving one moment toward the cold, empty space around him and the next towards the vaguely skull-shaped asteroid that he is desperately trying to avoid. Beams of (unrealistic) light from the lasers attaches to the enemy ships sweep towards his own (unshielded) ship. He swears - his enemies are only a single (fake) AU away now, and if they get any closer they'll be able to fire an EMP to shut down his ships' systems, and leave him an asteroid, drifting though the dark.

He looks at the asteroid. Maybe, just maybe, he can land gently enough on it that a) he won't crash and b) he won't be noticed my the origami ships darting towards him. He pulls on the controls. The tiny ship tilts, and wheels, and -

Bossuet plops down on the couch next to him. "Watcha doing?"

"Mmm-hmm-hm-hmm," Joly says, trying to convey the words _'one minute please, my spaceship is about to crash and I'd like to prevent it_ ' in a single hum. It's useless though; a tiny ball of purple fire blooms on the surface of the asteroid as he hits it, and then the screen goes dark.

_Congratulations!_ it says, in a cheery font festooned with what might be birds. _You have died!_

"Oh, shit," Bossuet says. He looks at the screen, and then turns to Joly and says: "Was that my fault? Sorry."

"It's fine," Joly says, looking at the message on his computer sadly. "I was going to die anyway."

"Okay," Bossuet says, and grins at the message on Joly's computer. "What game is that?"

"I forget the name," Joly says. "But Jehan recommended it to me. They said that there would be fae and space, but I'm pretty sure that I messed something in the first part of the game up and accidentally insulted someone, because now there's fae trying to kill me and space."

"Cool!" Bossuet says. "Can I try?"

"Sure," Joly says, passing the laptop over to him. "You'll have to start over, though."

"That's fine," Bossuet says. "Hey, maybe I can fuck up the diplomacy enough so that they _all_ try to kill me!"

"I'm not sure that's the goal of the game," Joly says, arranging himself on the couch so that he can watch what Bossuet's doing over his shoulder.

"I bet it'll be fun, though," Bossuet says, insulting one of the fae in the game.

The fae glares at him, and then promptly blasts him with lightning.

_Congratulations!_ the computer says again. _You have died!_

**Author's Note:**

> AU in this case stands for Astronomical Unit. It's a measure of distance used in space, and is the distance from Earth to the sun.
> 
> Comments and kudos make me super happy! <3


End file.
